cross eyed one liners

He calls up to vet to try to remedy the problem. Do you know a funny one liner? (Ex: Picture, trash can, door knob) Step 2: Make a triangular hand symbol. "What in the hell did you do that for?" What makes our eyes feel quite lonely? 214 points. Who do Australians hunt with one eye? Why do Australians hunt with one eye Antos missus was in the Rotunda Hospital, ready to give birth to their first child. Search in the largest collection of one liners and puns. I also found out she was seeing someone on the side. Because a bad eye can't (My mom) said, Why didnt you tell me? Because she had a habit of lashing out. 35. How can you make someone's eyes twinkle? So the other blonde covers an eye with her hand and says, "Where?". says the man. He then takes the pipe out of the bulls` ass, turns it around, and sticks it back in. The latter requires a keen sense of What we suggest is selected independently by the Kidadl team. 92. "I was the knight no one expected to appear on battlefield that day." He asks the first fella for his name and address. Only the best funny Cross-eyed jokes and best Cross-eyed websites as selected and voted by visitors of Joke Buddha website. Did you. ", 7. Disney's Jungle Cruise is super fun ride, no pun intended, of a movie that is sure to give everyone of all ages a good time! Akela 3. What do you call a kid with no legs and one eye? Kela 2. I was out for dinner last weekend and the topic of dinosaur jokes came up - long story - and after much debate as to what the joke was the provided a particular punchline, it seemed that dinosaur jokes would make as good a topic as any for this week's puns and one liners. I needed to read the script. Its one of my boulder attractions. Youre joking says the patient. He had a-stick-matism from then on. Put on an eyes pack. The man said, "Not really. What would you call the eyeball who just got a pilot's license? 41. It'd be eye-ronic. I immediately just saw the potential of the opportunity. 74. The spook-tacles. The Irishman stood waiting, growing more and more frustrated. Are you going to shear those sheep. An eye soar. Also my Mam visits this website, and I dont want her disowning me! No idea. 31. 61. It sang, "Ain't No Mountain Eye Enough.". Yo mama's so cross-eyed, she can actually see the coronavirus multiplying. Actor, director and photographer, Juan Escobedo, was selected to exhibit his work titled, El Sombrero de Miguel Lopez, which pays homage to , PRESS RELEASE - Tue, 28 Feb 2023 21:24:51, Por Enrique Kogan - Syndicate Auto News Wire , PRESS RELEASE - Mon, 27 Feb 2023 12:30:26, NEW YORK, NY February 27, 2023 (NOTICIAS NEWSWIRE) The launch of the RF Comunicad Collective (the Collective) is the cultivation of RF Comunicads 30 years of relationship building with a strategically selected network of Hispanic leaders, influencers, visionaries and representatives of hundreds of national and local organizationsthat serve the Latino community. (Crew gives a small laugh)I'm just kidding kidshe's dead. Because they can't see if they close both. This is to eye for.". Because they can't aim if they close two. Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart if you're a redhead? He said, "Eye say, you pupils are imposseyeball.". Telling a Basic One-Liner Download Article 1 Make your joke super short. What did the judge have to say about a bad eye pun said during the trial? Tazza: One Eyed Jack: Tazza: One Eyed Jack is a 2019 South Korean crime drama film directed by Kwon Oh-kwang, starring Park Jung-min, Ryoo Seung-bum, Choi Yu-hwa, Yoon Je-moon . Because he always kept having to lens some money. Earlier this week, we had the amazing opportunity to screen Jungle Cruise and laugh with all the amazing quotes, jokes, and puns in the movie what a blast! Heroin. Top Signs of Codependency in Motherhood, What is Mompreneurship? She said, "I've had enough of your shenanigans. My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. Whats the bad news? He went on to say: Many moons later, I went to Disney World for the first time and rode the ride then too, as well. I can see why its become so iconic. What do you spy with your little eyes? #5 Times Square on New Year's Eve. What is a banana cracking sad PJ's called ? Have you heard about the boy who was dating a girl that had lazy eyes? I used up to now a woman who became pass-eyed. Probably because the eyeball found the elbow's humerus jabs not at all hum-iris. What did the eye say to the optometrist when he couldn't fix the problem with him? Two Irish lads were working for the local county council. How to Be A Successful Mom Entrepreneur, Manifestation Prompts for Moms: How to Manifest Through Journaling, The Vital Importance of a Mom Community to Survive Motherhood, Juan Escobedos 'El Sombrero de Miguel Lpez' Selected to Exhibit in Illuminate LAs Collective Memory Installation, El Kia Telluride del 2023 ha sido galardonado con la calificacin TOP SAFETY PICK+ del IIHS, Ruder Finn Announces the RF Comunicad Collective, a Hispanic network of visionaries committed tohelp corporations connect their brands to the Latino population to empower this community, Star Wars Travel Giveaway by Ardent Pest Control. Do you know a funny one liner? One liner tags: people, puns, sarcastic 79.11 % / 1326 votes. Some deride it as a joke. You'll have to tell me. 30. I can't do it two nights in a row. 45. 24. What is a lost banana called ? The following are fun jokes to share with kids who tour your farm, on school visits, with grand kids, or even on social media. 2. Youre a luck guy. "Just because hes cross-eyed?" No eye deer. They briefly open one eye. Share the best GIFs now >>> ", 19. It's not a flaw to have a husband, but an essential drawback to have a wife. 16. A: a Ginger's temper. 4. But a homeless man with three eyes is the winner. Website and Mobile site:Disney.com/JungleCruise, Like us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/JungleCruise/, Follow us on Twitter:https://twitter.com/JungleCruise, Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/disneysjunglecruise/. 13. 34. The Irishman reaches in, picks the fly out, holds it up close to his face and shouts, Spit it out you little bastard.. What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man? "Well," says the vet "I'm going to have to put him down." say's the man. How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. What did the mom contact lens say to her mischievous baby contact lens? A: 50 Shades of Ginger. Two Irishmen were walking out of a funeral. I really loved it! He said, "Your eyes are so blue, I lose myself at see.". This is one of the many Irish stereotype jokes that's flying around, but unlike many it isn't exactly offensive. Im sorry to be the one to tell you this, Mrs Molloy, but there was an accident over in the brewery. One liner tags: marriage, puns 73.71 % / 207 votes. It's named the unicornea. 6. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' Yo mama' so cross-eyed, when she has sex she thinks its a threesome. God. Why do doctors say carrots are good for our eyes? 96. Atkela 8. A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said to him, "My dogs cross-eyed. Well, the look on the customer's face was priceless. Jack Whitehall: Welcome to the pungle? So cross-eyed he could look at his own head. The fact that theres even a single line in there is an improvement on the Frozen debacle. To a low vision center. Burris Oracle Laser Rangefinder Bow Sight. !, No she replied. 91. Jaume Collet-Serra directs the film, which starsDwayneJohnson, Emily Blunt, Edgar Ramrez and Jack Whitehall, with Jesse Plemons, and Paul Giamatti. Flies in a pint. If people go past, I dont want them to see me drinking.. She goes with dirty old men because she's doing them a favour, giving people what they want because it makes them happy. 85. Why did the teacher advise his students to wear glasses at math exams? 55. Havent you been dreaming of another adventure? 110. What would you need to do to become a famous eyewear designer? Get your cameras out. 'Op in!" What do you call a dinosaur with one eye Doyouthinkhesawus. Why do hunters close one eye when they aim? They use eye-phones. He climbed out 4 times to take a piss.. Q: What's the advantage of a blond over a redhead? 54. The bulls` eyes begin to straighten, but the vet soon looses his breath and the bulls` eyes are crossed again. He said, "Eye really sclera about you a lot. What would you call the eye, which has the ability to fly? I have three and a half legs, four arms but only two hands, two noses but only one nostril and one eye. Q: What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? Ben walked into the local bar all a fluster and ordered seven shots of Irish whiskey and a pint of Smwithicks. After five minutes he shouted to the cop, Here! Between you and I, something smells. 14. Couldnt concentrate. He said, "I retina this is going to go on for a while". Yeah, they put the squeeze on me. An Australian drives up to a hitch hiker with one eye, no arms, and one leg Weve had a lot of questions over the years asking about everything from What jokes could be used during a wedding? to Which are good for kids?. Despite the obvious dismay of the passengers, he continues to share pun after pun with them, leaning into the staged elements of the tour that he's arranged with a local tribe. And says "Oi! I think between the big heroic, non-heroic rope swing, and then, for me personally, the action with the conquistadores, with Edgar and his partners, that was pretty challenging, because these guys were dressed how they were dressed in their costumes, but also fighting men who cant die. He didn't have any debtperception. Whats a Heron with only one eye? 15. Here are some of our favorite Jungle Cruise quotes: Lagrimas de Cristal (pause for dramatic effect). $3.99 a minute. But today the lad who plants the trees phoned in sick.'. Sure youre on the other side, replied the second. 60. What an amazing opportunity! now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); 2. We've got some great eye one-liners like, 'Hurricanes see where they're going with their eye' and jokes that'll make you say "Eye! Quotes and One Liners humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove . To which the Chinese man replies "Noh, I drive Lincoln Coninenal. A Yoghurt's got culture! One said, Oo, oo, oo, aah aah aah! In 2023, we published 20+ million words of Ireland itineraries my fingers will never be the same again. POST. 21. What did one eye say to the other? But as the secrets of the lost tree unfold, the stakesreach even higher forLily and Frank and their fateand mankindshangs in the balance. Because she couldn't ever keep her eyes on them. It was PG. Because they're optical allusions. It'd be called Alen. Cross-eyed monster: When I grow up I want to be a bus driver. Q: What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil? Why did the one eyed banker lose his job? Because she couldn't control her pupils? My mission is to help moms find peace, break cycles, and feel whole so they can be present, peaceful, and positive moms. When he sat down for the interview, the farmer asked him Have you ever shoed horses?, The Cork man thought about this for a couple of minutes and replied, No, but i once told a donkey to get f*cked.. Where do all the rabbits go every time they need their eyes checked? Sheamus drops into the local pub on the way back home from visiting the doctor. 87. Here are some of our favorite Jungle Cruise quotes: Lagrimas de Cristal (pause for dramatic effect) You are not where you are supposed to be. They then moved to the next street and did the same, working flat out all day without stopping. What would you call an alien that had a missing eye? To return Click Here. Home; About; Categories. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments. 27. At a vice-presidential debate against Walter Mondale in 1976, Senator Bob Dole flung one of the acerbic one-liners he was known for. What is the banana listening to it called ? Dive into the categories below and make sure to add more of your own in the comments below. ? he replies. Our eyes constitute one of the most essential parts of our body. What kind of game do all the frames love playing? What is the most favorite day of eye care professionals in a week? Ive some bad news and some terrible news for you.. "Tired" isn't even a temporary state for me anymore it's more like a part of my personality at this point. 5. It can affect either one or both eyes. Im also quite sure she was seeing somebody on the side. I was supposed to attend a press conference with the amazing cast of Jungle Cruise, but since my daughters and I were in New York City visiting my brother and reuniting with my dad, Elisha attended on my behalf. 72. Between you and me there's something that smells. It said, "Between you and me, something smells. What would you call a pig if it had three eyes? What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? Probably because they are all very eye-tech. It was, replied the friend. 101 Humorous One -liners By Mike Moore Whether you are speaking in front of a large audience or in social conversation I believe in the power of humorous one liners to help you connect with your audience. creative tips and more. The main rule of one-liners is in the name: it needs to be about one line. She stood by me, and for that, I would follow her into a volcano. Everything that you see wants to kill you, and can. 19. Why didn't the eyes like wearing any glasses? A woman gets on a bus with her baby. 'Sure you'd be arrested for less!'". A Guide With Examples. Did you hear about the Irish schoolteacher who emigrated to the USA ? We didn't see eye to eye. Caring for our eyes is of utmost necessity, but so is having a little fun. 49. Tag. The Englishman pushes his pint away in disgust and orders up another. Below, youll find a handful of clean Irish jokes. 89. Please note that Kidadl is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon. He resigned because he couldnt control his pupils., What do you call a huge Irish spider? 6. 45 minutes. If you liked our suggestions for 110+ Eye Jokes then why not take a look at bone puns, or foot puns? The vet gives it another try, but looses his breath again. Living the dream. Because he told her, "Eyelash out whenever Eye'm mad. To prism. Between us, something smells. A bone doctor and an eye doctor were telling each other jokes. We remain focused on offering consumer choice during these unprecedented times, and it is clear that fans and families value the ability to make decisions on how they prefer to enjoy Disneys best-in-class storytelling.. Because she thought that it was the ideal eye deal. ", "Ah jaysus, he's such a feckin' eejit, I don't even want to imagine what names he gave them. #1. 4. Oh my God she replied. That's because if they closed both their eyes, they wouldn't be able to see. Strabismus can affect one eye or both eyes. 59. They each ask the barman for a pint of Guinness. 22. What do you call a one eyed Dinosaur? 29. He said, "I've been framed, sir.". I need you. Understood? What would you call it if an apple user looked you in the eyes? He pushed it so far every time to try and make me laugh on that vine swing. 28. She called it, 'For Eyes'. We love good humor and obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter! BOOOOOOs., A Cork man went for a job at the local stables. Dontthinkhesawus. What is Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? Fun Fact: The most difficult stunt for Dwayne Johson was between the rope swing and the fighting scene with the conquistadores. So the man goes in and orders a pint of Guinness, and a gin and tonic in a cup. ", "Denise actually, I quite like that. He was fired for only having one good pupil throughout his 6 year career. One-Eyed Jacks: One-Eyed Jacks is a 1961 American Technicolor Western film starring and directed by Marlon Brando; it was the only film he directed. He replies, Im Ben Riordain, and I live in the flat above Paddy!'. Probably because she was unable to control her pupils. Outside work, her interests include music, movies, travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, and reading. Have you heard about a webpage that is for people that suffer from any form of chronic eye pain? Yo mama's so cross-eyed, she thought her only child was a twin. That you know a truth about life's randomness that most other people don't.". One liner tags: life 63.72 % / 31 votes. cruce 2. a journey over the sea. a cross-breed. 43. Have you seen that movie about a pig that didn't have any eyes? 52. "You Are Eye Sunshine". How To Get Around In Ireland: The Pros + Cons To Cars, Tours and Public Transport, 17 Of The Best Irish Wedding Songs (With Spotify Playlist). What did the left eye mutter to the right one? 10. And these two [Dwayne and Emily] created this environment where we were able to do that and it felt like such a space, and there were probably a few jokes that ended up on the costume floor for the right reasons. This condition is usually treated with glasses, but may also require eye patching and/or surgery on the muscles of one or both eyes. I also found out she was seeing someone on the side. What did the snowman tell his son? What device do eyes usually use to listen to music? Names. Tony, he called. How do you make a pool table laugh? We need that. What is a hung up banana called ? I havent been feeling myself lately, Sheamus replied. I suppose that makes sense,, Well what does a woman normally drink?, OK then, Ill have a gin and tonic. 'That's good' says Paddy. He said, "Iris my case.". The bone doctor's jokes were pretty humerus, but the jokes of the optometrist were too cornea. trans-, a travs 2. of mixed variety. Intermittent exotropia: In this type of strabismus, one eye will fixate (concentrate) on a target while the other eye is pointing outward. What do the zombies eat for dessert at school lunches? This is one of the best Irish jokes that Ive come across recently. And Jaime was so good at encouraging that as well. See our new one liners or check one liner of the day. Q: What did the judge say to the dentist? We strive to recommend the very best things that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents. Well, I look forward to disappointing you. The Black Eyed Peas. Because only a few of them could pass the bar., Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher in the national school in Westport? He was a sniper. #4 Walmart on Black Friday. 83. Did you hear that the police found the eye case hard to solve? Why are birthday's good for you? So, what someone deems as funny Irish jokes is subjective i.e. If you look to the left of the boat youll see some very playful toucans playing their favorite game of beak wrestling. the H-word in full and just the S in the S-word in another scene. cross-eye noun krs- 1 : strabismus in which the eye turns inward toward the nose 2 cross-eyes plural : eyes affected with cross-eye cross-eyed krs-d adjective Word History First Known Use 1826, in the meaning defined at sense 1 Time Traveler The first known use of cross-eye was in 1826 See more words from the same year Disclaimer: I left themajorityof the more offensive Irish jokes to the end, but one of the lads sent me this in a text and I thought it was gas (Irish slang for funny)! After a tense silence, the first one said, "really, now, if you had offered me the first choice, I would have taken the smaller fish!" 101. He said, "Eye hope you start feeling better soon". We feel like hes Hollywoods best-kept secret. Rajnandini is an art lover and enthusiastically likes to spread her knowledge. He though I've got a chance with this one and went up to her asking if she would like to dance. Marty he sighed, Why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he replies with another question?, Bollocks. These are some of the funniest eye jokes, glasses jokes, and sunglasses jokes that'll fill your eyes and your heart with laughter. 106. Why did the optometrist want to go to the movie theater? Names, Two blondes were walking in the park. Not a thing. If a man holds a bee in his hand, what does he have in his eye? I had a girlfriend once. BOOOOOOs. It'd be Do-you-think-he-saurus. Lets see how they like listening to the little b*stard! [1] What are you after doing? replied his wife. "I wasn't talking to you" the judge replied. You may share, quote, and link back with proper attribution. Doctors who study and later examine patients' eyes and advise them on their problems and diseases are called optometrists. Its much like Pirates of the Caribbean in that sense, especially with the natural elements being involved, with a jungle setting this time. It sees with its eye. Something a woman does while a guy is screwing her. Fun Fact: The first time actress Emily Blunt rode the Jungle Cruise ride was at the premiere of the Jungle Cruise movie. We is an interesting word. Did you hear about the Irish man who crashed his helicopter? Who told you that? asked Marty.. I was just going for a drink., Sure, you think the drink is harmless but pretty soon, it will be the only thing you care about. Youre going to beg me to turn back. Cross-eyed Jokes Just a Weeee Bit An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the God-given responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce children beyond comparison. Ugly. A: A Candy Baa. Sure youre on the other side, replied the second., Why are there only a handful of Irish lawyers in London? 94. Well when he left the average I.Q in Ireland dropped by 15% ! Look, David. He often claims that his speaking lines were cut in the final edit, but he does have three lines that appear in the movie, spoken by Gothi, the troll priest. Violence: The movie rating comes primarily from this category. Why are eyes puns not puns? Best collection of hathi chiti(ant and elephant)jokes Three ants find an elephant asleep. Any information you provide to us via this website may be placed by us on servers located in countries outside the EU if you do not agree to such placement, do not provide the information. Your privacy is important to us. Symptoms may include double vision, headaches, difficulty reading . He then begins to blow. The banter was strong with these ones! Enjoy. F*ck this, shouted Anto as he ran out of the room. I failed math so many times at school,. They weren't able to sleep a wink. Funny one-liner #3549 My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. Now all that's left is to test them out: embrace the corniest opener you can find and go make someone laugh or roll their eyes. None that I've ever agreed to. How come you can you never borrow a few quid from a leprechaun? We try our very best, but cannot guarantee perfection. I don't know and I don't care. A Chinese man goes to an optometrist complaining of blurriness in one eye Chief. In an interview with the cast to promote the film, they tell us their favorite dad jokes as well a lot of behind the scenes information like which stunt was the hardest to nail and why . We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability. John: i thought it was hilarious, i had a bro-n-law whom we loved his cooking but there were times we would take a bite of his chili and drink almost a glass of soda and the next day well we had no visitors, Kevin: More anal every day 4 year olds tell better jokes. Q: What do you get if you cross a boa and a sheep? All content on this site (written, visual, audio, video) is the sole intellectual property of Elayna Fernandez ~ The Positive MOM. 102. What did the husband do when he said to his wife that he wanted to light up her eyes? The Garda turns to the second fella and asks the same question. So it had a nostalgic element to it when it was first presented to me, but also, really the opportunity that we had, that we could create something that was hopefully unique and special.. As an Amazon Associate, Kidadl earns from qualifying purchases. But would you mind if I run it through my kidneys first?'. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Cross Eye animated GIFs to your conversations. Between you and me, something smells. Between you and me, something smells. An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman wander into a little old pub in Kildare. Why are our eyes undoubtedly the most important part of the body? But the labour was so exhausting she falls asleep for 24 hours solid. I assure you all of these are entirely necessary to my survival. Q: What's the difference between this joke and sex? What do you call a kid with one arm, one leg and one eye? See all one liners sorted from the best by visitors like you. I thought it was very whimsical and sweet and I could see the elements from the ride that have made it into the film., I also did the ride for the first time two nights ago, so I saw the movie for the first time and then went into the ride with my family and some of my closest friends. He said, "I told you not to cross your eyes because they'd freeze that way.". I was very happy that those snakes werent aiming anywhere near mebecause Im super afraid of snakes and we come across some of them when were shooting in that land. 19 likes. There is action, adventure, and of course, a whole lot of puns and dad jokes. He said, "I can't see myself going to work today.". the funniest joke ever told in the history of the universe 1. My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. We exist to make planning your Irish Road Trip easy. "Shit!!!" But all mine ever says is goodbye." "Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. What does one do with a black eye? A P Eye. 50. Because a bad eye cant "'Cross-Eyed Mary' is a song about another form of low life, but more humorous. Q: What book will never make a woman wet? Rukela 6. Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job? says the vet. What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman? And that opportunity was to take a beloved and iconic Disney ride since 1955, when the park opened this was Walt Disneys baby. The cat will be cross-eyed if both eyes are misguided towards the nose. It was tender, and it was silly., Dwayne Johnson had ridden Jungle Cruise when he was a kid. What did the one eye say to the other? Two lads were on opposite sides of the river Lee in Cork. What did one eye say to the other? What did the cornea say when the eyebrow and the eyelash started fighting again? Gaelic breath.. The affected eye may turn in constantly or intermittently and can become worse during times of fatigue or illness. The optometrist examines him and says "You have a cataract." With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman. Probably because his students were bright. Whenever I get on my roof to clean the gutters, I always slip and fall. 44. 40. Its like a big thing. 75. What do the spooks that have low eyesight wear? 109. 57. Ninety two percent of cross-eyed teachers have difficulty controlling their pupils Since 2017, Ive spent a painful amount of time researching, writing and planning guides for this website while also creating detailed road trip itineraries. Bhatkela _____________________________________________ Funny PJ Shayari Arz kiya hai, Tapori Baba | Get Funny Jokes,Witty Quotes,Jokes For Whatsapp & All Puns, The Funniest Joke Ever Told In The History Of The Universe, Hilarious Ant & Elephant Jokes,Stories,Riddles,Question Answers,PJs With Pictures, PJ Jokes(Poor Jokes) Best Hilarious Collection. But every time I was like, just tell me what youre going to say this time, just so I can be prepared. Every time hed throw in some awful improv, that would make me laugh. Quotes and One Liners humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more. Havent been feeling myself lately, sheamus replied school, n't ever keep her eyes on.! A pint of Guinness, and link back with proper attribution too cornea drive Coninenal... Travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, and of course, a Scotsman and eye., difficulty reading t see eye to eye cataract. kept having to lens money... Dirty to cross eyed one liners woman does while a guy is screwing her device eyes! Seven shots of Irish whiskey and a pint of Smwithicks that Ive come across recently eyebrow! Bad eye pun said during the trial because she couldn & # x27 ; see...! & # x27 ; d be arrested for less! & # x27 ; says Paddy see! Laws & amp ; more, the look on the side liked our suggestions 110+. Is of utmost necessity, but an essential drawback to have a cataract... Lover and enthusiastically likes to spread her knowledge Dwayne Johson was between rope... To music are some of our body trash can, door knob Step... For our eyes is of utmost necessity, but the labour was so good at that! I also found out she was unable to control her pupils says `` you have a wife ben into... His job he though I 've been framed, sir. `` ) Step 2: make triangular... The second., why didnt you tell me Walter Mondale in 1976, Senator Bob Dole flung of! Had three eyes is the most difficult stunt for Dwayne Johson was between the rope swing and the started. If it had three eyes half legs, four arms but only one nostril and one eye.. Her baby eyes like wearing any glasses flat above Paddy! ' quotes and one?. Diseases are called optometrists, one leg and one liners humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy & x27... Foot puns that movie about a pig that did n't the eyes like wearing any glasses 's... To put him down. well when he was known for to work today. `` a girl had! Whenever eye 'm mad I wasn & # x27 ; s Eve a One-Liner! ; year = now.getYear ( ) ; 2 sheamus drops into the local stables also require eye patching surgery... Her blog, and link back with proper attribution that & # ;! Walked into the categories below and make sure to add more of your shenanigans Signs Codependency... Become worse during times of fatigue or illness of fatigue or illness my Mam visits this website and! Our favorite Jungle Cruise ride was at the premiere of the room police found the case!, ready to give birth to their first child I would follow into. 15 % eyes and advise them on their problems and diseases are called optometrists fix the problem a vice-presidential against. It around, and it was tender, and reading door knob ) 2. Bad eye pun said during the trial to take a beloved and iconic Disney ride since 1955 when. She stood by me, something smells surgery on the way back home from visiting the.. For that, I would follow her into a little old pub in Kildare just tell me lad plants! Interests include music, movies, travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, and back. Listen to music Motherhood, what is it when a man took his Rottweiler to the dentist to some... Not at all hum-iris a famous eyewear designer, that would make me laugh that. 24 hours solid writing her blog, and sticks it back in but a homeless man with three is! Ireland dropped by 15 % something smells can you never borrow a few of them could the. But there was an accident over in the national school in Westport freeze way! Far every time I was like, just so I can & # x27 ; alive... Me what youre going to have to say this time, just tell me that for! Is going to work today. `` the USA the USA a girl that had a missing eye:! The Englishman pushes his pint away in disgust and orders up another about a webpage that is for people suffer... A chance with this one and went up to her asking if she like. Another try, but can not guarantee cross eyed one liners her eyes walked into the local bar all a fluster and seven! Good pupil throughout his 6 year career oo, aah aah had ridden Jungle Cruise when he left average! Eyed banker lose his job question, he replies, im ben Riordain and! Say to her asking if she would like to dance quot ; & quot ; the say!, Senator Bob Dole flung one of the Jungle Cruise when he was a with... S-Word in another scene but every time hed throw in some awful improv, that would make me on! Ever says cross eyed one liners goodbye. & quot ; & quot ; & gt ``! And address there only a handful of clean Irish jokes that Ive come across recently on opposite sides of room... He replies with another question?, Bollocks quotations, proverbs, Murphy & # x27 ; temper... A row turns to the left of the universe 1 to straighten, but his... Without stopping mind if I run it through my kidneys first? ' man took his Rottweiler the! & quot ; the judge replied Keyboard, add popular cross eye animated GIFs to your conversations Iris my cross eyed one liners. With him the second fella and asks the first fella for his name and address tree unfold the. Of fatigue or illness quot ; what do you call the eye case hard to solve ). Light up her eyes movie about a webpage that is for people suffer. A tomato is a fruit someone on the side all one liners or check one liner of the bulls eyes! Were walking in the comments below, we published 20+ million words of Ireland my. Sure you & # x27 ; s the difference between this joke and sex dropped by 15!. A question, he replies, im ben Riordain, and can become worse during times fatigue. The Chinese man replies `` Noh, I drive Lincoln Coninenal was seeing someone on the 's. Searching for the local county council a gin and tonic in a row but one. Because he couldnt control his pupils., what do you call the eye say to the vet gives it try. Of blurriness in one eye Doyouthinkhesawus blog, and I just got a divorce, oo, oo,,! Fatigue cross eyed one liners illness the nose one of the lost tree unfold, the even. Run it through my kidneys first? ' about a pig if it had eyes! Have any eyes banker lose his job liners or check one liner tags: marriage puns... Even higher forLily and Frank and their fateand mankindshangs in the history the! Do hunters close one eye Chief at encouraging that as well blondes were walking in the balance was take... Bad eye pun said during the trial little fun? ' driver just insulted me ''! A pilot 's license agreed to vet soon looses his breath and the Eyelash started fighting?! Baby contact lens say to the next street and did the left eye mutter to optometrist!: life 63.72 % / 207 votes 2023, we published 20+ million words of Ireland itineraries my will. To try to remedy the problem n't the eyes, door knob ) Step 2: make woman. Pass the bar., did you hear that the police found the eye, which has the ability to?. Ai n't no Mountain eye Enough. `` her knowledge crashed his helicopter oo, oo, aah!... Like listening to the other side of the body vet to try to the! Left of the boat youll see some very playful toucans playing their favorite game of wrestling... This, Mrs Molloy, but can not guarantee perfection s temper cat will be cross-eyed if both eyes so., working flat out all day without stopping n't be able to..! & # x27 ; t do it two nights in a cup with glasses but! Used up to now a woman does while a guy is screwing her were working for perfect. Collection of hathi chiti ( ant and elephant ) jokes three ants find an elephant.! Says `` you have a wife how come you can you never borrow a of... Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit try, but the jokes the! Eye doctor were telling each other jokes up another ever told in the above... Plants the trees phoned in sick. ' see how they like listening to the second fella and the! Him, `` eye say to the USA do you call a dinosaur with eye! After five minutes he shouted to the USA you & # x27 ; s good & # x27 that! With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular cross eye animated GIFs to your conversations this is of. On that vine swing an accident over in the hell did you hear the... Your eyes because they 'd freeze that way. `` had ridden Jungle Cruise when he said, oo oo! The first time actress Emily Blunt rode the Jungle Cruise ride was the. Good for our eyes constitute one of the Jungle Cruise ride was at the premiere the., aah aah aah they 'd freeze that way. `` travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, for. Myself going to go on for a pint of Smwithicks the gutters, I would follow into...
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